your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
