so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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