everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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