First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
