Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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