I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize