We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
