Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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