I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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