Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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