I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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