The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We named our party play list daddy issues
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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