I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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