i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Slut skills are useful in every country.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
