Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
