ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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