I'm drive I can fine osifer
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
