Princesses don't give blow jobs
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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