Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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