I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
His hands were made for my vagina.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
