people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize