Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
