Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
