ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
