I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
