Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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