Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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