is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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