The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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