Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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