Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Randomize
