Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
