Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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