your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
