you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize