I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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