There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
