are you so shy because you have an std?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
