Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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