i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
