And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
