I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize