She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
