u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm passing your future prison.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
