He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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