I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
