Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Shame - the story of my life.
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