I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize