I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
