As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Randomize