hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
