Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
