fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
