woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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