Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
