If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
