haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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